Getting Through
by brittana21
Summary: Once again, Santana goes to McKinley High's prom without Brittany. But this time, it wasn't Santana's fault, nor was it Brittany's.
1. Déjà vu

**CHAPTER 1 - Déjà vu **

Twice in a row. That's two years. She's not with the one she loves during prom, twice. Santana frowns as she looks at herself in the mirror. Just a couple of months ago, she was so hyped going to this year's prom with Brittany. She never thought that just weeks before prom, she would be looking at the mirror, wearing the red dress that she and Brittany picked out for prom this year, -dateless.

She looks at the wall clock and saw that it's nearing 8 o'clock. She checks her dress for the millionth time just to make sure that there are no rips. There weren't any. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and sighs. _I can't do this._

"Santana! Quinn and Noah are here!" she heard her mom call. She opens her eyes and looked once again at her reflection. She wasn't admiring herself like she used to do when she knew she looked good with what she was wearing. She knew she looked good because Brittany told her she did when they chose the dress. But she was just there, looking blankly at the person in front of her. She didn't notice how long she'd been standing there until she heard a soft knock on her door and she saw Quinn slowly enter her room.

"Hey, San…" Quinn said in a voice that was almost a whisper as she made her way to where Santana was standing.

"Hey," Santana said quietly. "Um… sorry I think I, uh, lost track of time." She said as she turned around to face her friend who was standing behind her. Quinn gave her a sad smile, which Santana tried to ignore. _Don't._

"You do know that we don't have to go, right?"

_Yes. _She knew that. She knew that none of her friends really expected her to show up to prom after what had happened. Santana looked around and walked to her bedside table and wore the bracelet that was just sitting there next to a picture of her and Brittany. She fumbled with the lock because she was shaking so much. She stomped her foot on the floor out of frustration and closed her eyes to try and slow down her breathing.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Quinn standing beside her. Her friend took the bracelet, held the latina's hand as she told her to sit on the bed. Quinn gently placed the bracelet on Santana's wrist and was able to lock it just as quickly. She heard Santana give out a relief sigh and turned to look at her.

"Thanks, Q." Santana whispered with tears starting to form in her eyes.

"You can't cry, S. Not now," Quinn said as she pushed some of Santana's bangs, behind her ear. "You can't ruin your make-up by crying when you look so beautiful…" She said trying to lighten up the mood not wanting to see Santana cry. It must've worked because Santana sniffed and gave a small laugh.

The two sat in comfortable silence and the ticking of the clock was the only thing making a sound.

"You do know that we don't have to go, right?" Quinn repeated her question. She placed a hand on Santana's back as she waited for an answer. A few seconds passed when Santana quickly stood up and walked towards her bedroom door. She turned around and saw Quinn still sitting on the bed with a confused look on her face.

"Aren't you coming? Come on, I can't wait to see what they've done with the place." Santana said with a smile on her face. She held out her hand and waited for her friend to take it.

Quinn walked over to Santana, took her hand and gave her friend a tight hug. "I'm sure Brittany did an amazing job on this one, S." Quinn whispered, still not letting go of the smaller girl in her arms. She didn't see Santana's smile fall at the mention of _her_ name.

"Let's go." Santana slowly pulled away and put a smile on her face as they walked

out of Santana's bedroom.

The two friends made their way down the stairs where Puck was waiting, with a smile on his face. When the two girls reached the bottom of the staircase, Puck revealed a corsage that he was hiding. A corsage for Santana.

Santana shook her head and smiled shyly at her friend.

"You didn't have to, Puck." She said as Puck placed the corsage on her wrist. She instantly put the flower under her nose and sniffed.

"It was nothing, Lopez. I also got Quinn here a corsage since I'm both your dates. It's customary." Puck said while giving Santana a light hug. Santana looked at Quinn who held up her wrist revealing a corsage like hers but with a different colored flower. Santana chuckled and then remembered something,

" Oh, I forgot to get you a boutonniere…"

"Already got one, see?" Puck said pointing to his boutonniere. "Quinn gave me this when I picked her up before coming here." He finished then placed an arm around Quinn's shoulder, she playfully elbowed the guy to get him to remove his heavy arm. Quinn laughed as Puck feigned being hurt from the elbow. Quinn just shook her head and stuck her tongue out.

Quinn and Puck dated during the summer between their first and second year in McKinley High School. Needless to say, they were better off as friends than lovers. And they both knew that after fighting so much that they didn't speak to –or rather Quinn ignored Puck— each other for a few months. After reconciling their friendship, the two have grown closer than before; closer than when they were dating. Surprisingly, the two were actually okay with the fact that they just weren't meant to be with each other _like that_. In turn, it was most definitely okay with Santana who always seem to find herself stuck in between Quinn's crying and Puck's rants when the two would fight. She was glad that those days were over.

Santana looked at the two of her closest friends as she remembered their past. Quinn was fixing Puck's mohawk because some of what's actually there, was out of place. She saw Puck picking something off of Quinn's shoulder. _Probably a freckle that he thought was dirt._ The two turned to face her and each gave her a smile; she smiles back.

And just in time, Santana's parents walk in, and said that it was time to take a few pictures before the three head for prom. After about 30 minutes of taking photos of different poses, Santana felt tired from all the smiling. They made their way towards Puck's car, and Santana decides to sit in the backseat when normally she would call shotgun to any car that wasn't hers.

* * *

The car ride to McKinley wasn't that long, but Santana stayed silent and just listened to the two talk about who was going to sing what song during prom. Mr. Schue said that everybody from New Directions should perform during prom, be it a solo performance, a duet, or a group performance.

She knew that Puck was supposed to sing with the guys for "What Makes You Beautiful" but gave up his spot for teen Jesus because he wasn't able to attend the rehearsals. And she knew that Quinn was going to sing "Take My Breath Away". She remembered Quinn had asked her if they could sing it together and initially, she had agreed but after what happened, she told Quinn she wasn't too sure about singing it with her. Up until now she still wasn't sure and Quinn was patient enough to wait for Santana's final decision that she still hasn't made.

Puck decided to drop off the two girls in front of the school so they didn't have to walk back to the entrance after parking the car. After 10 minutes of silently waiting and just enjoying the light wind that breezed through, they saw Puck quickly make his way towards them. When he got there, he stood in between the two girls and offered his arms for each of the girl to take, in which they both did.

The three slowly made their way towards the gym doors and Santana's heart start to beat faster with every step she took. _Here's to another prom without you. _Santana thought sadly, not noticing she had stopped walking. She was jolted out of her thoughts when she felt a light tug on her arm when Puck and Quinn had stopped walking.

"You guys go ahead, I'll catch up with you later." She said, letting go of Puck's arm. She saw Puck look at Quinn and heard her say something about meeting him at the door. Puck gave Santana one last look and she gave him a small smile, then he turned around and walked towards the doors to wait. Quinn walked towards Santana and quietly asked her if she was sure she wanted to be here.

"Yeah, I just—I just need a minute."

"We can wait, S." Quinn said, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"It's okay, Quinn. I'll be there in a while." Santana said, reassuring Quinn that she will in fact be there. But Quinn doesn't seem to be convinced at what she heard and stayed silent with worry in her eyes. Santana sighed, "I promise, Q. I promised her I would come. I just need a minute…"

Quinn's gaze softened after Santana said that, and she finally believed the latina that she would in fact, be there. "Do you want us to wait for you at the door?" she asked. Santana shook her head and looked down at her hands. She felt her friend hug her, "You look amazing tonight, S. She picked a nice dress." Quinn gave her a quick peck on the cheeks and slowly made her way towards Puck.

As the two entered the gym doors, she made her way to a bench near the gym, but was slightly hidden by the trees that surrounded it. Santana's thoughts circled back to the thought that she was once again not with Brittany for Prom. Last year's prom was her fault, and she knew that. She regretted it, to this day, not showing up at Brittany's house to film "Fondue For Two". But this time was different, and yet she still thinks it was still her fault.

She remembered that one phone call she received a few weeks ago so clearly.

"_Is this Ms. Santana Lopez?"_

"_This is she. Who's this?"_

"_My name is Jason and I'm calling from Lima Heights General Hospital. We need you to come over as soon as you can."_

"_Why? What's wrong? Who's in the hospital?" Santana asked the man on the other line with panic in her voice. _

_After a few seconds, "Tell me what's going on!" She said a little louder on her cellphone while grabbing her keys as she quickly made her way to her car._

"_Ms. Lopez, there's been an accident. We need you to…"_

"_What happened? Who's been in an accident!" She walked a little faster while cursing herself for parking a little farther than she normally would. As she got to her car door, she dropped her keys when the man on the other line said the name that she was most dreading._


	2. I Need Some Air

**Oh my god! Huge "Thank you", and tons of brownie points to those who reviewed, added this to their favorites and their story alerts!**

**In this chapter, Saturday Night Glee-ver DIDN'T happen, and I'm sorry for all OUR Brittana hearts. Trust me I am. But I will mention some of what had happened in that episode in this chapter, but I changed it to fit this story. Anyway, this whole story is about Santana being alone during prom and yes, there will be flashbacks, memories, and stuff (and maybe even fluff) like that in between. I honestly still don't know how long this story might be, but I'm winging it. Hope you guys stick with me til the end of this one. :) **

**Now on to Chapter 2! **

* * *

**CHAPTER 2 – I Need Some Air **

"_What happened? Who's been in an accident!" She walked a little faster while cursing herself for parking a little farther than she normally would. As she got to her car door, she dropped her keys when the man on the other line said the name that she was most dreading._

* * *

_"Ms. Brittany S…" She didn't let the man finish what he was saying, so she turned off her phone, grabbed the keys from the pavement, got inside the car and made her way to the hospital._

_"No. No. No. No. Let her be okay. Let her be okay..." Santana kept whispering to herself as she gripped the wheel so tight her knuckles were losing their color. She felt like time had been slowing down, maybe even stopped while she was driving to the hospital but she managed to get to Lima Heights General Hospital in a short amount of time. She found a spot a little far from the entrance, but immediately parked her car and rushed towards the hospital doors._

_She didn't have time to go around the lot to try and find a more decent parking space, she needed to get to Brittany. Now. "Brittany… accident… Pierce… ", she told the woman who was sitting infront of the computer. Santana knew the woman heard her but the lazy woman didn't even acknowledge the latina who was still catching her breath._

_Immediately feeling anger, Santana slammed her hand on the receptionist's table, startling the woman. Suddenly, a man, probably in his late 20's, showed up and looked at Santana who was red in the face and practically killing the woman at the desk, with her eyes._

_"Hi, how may I help you?" He asked, nervously._

_"Somebody told me to come here for Brittany S. Pierce? She's been in an accident."_

_"You must be Santana Lopez. My name is Jason; I was the one who called you. May I ask how you know of Ms. Pierce?"_

_"I—I'm her girlfriend." Santana heard the woman from earlier snicker after she said that but decided it was best to ignore the woman and just focus on learning what the hell happened to Brittany._

_"Please follow me," the man told Santana, who quickly moved to walk beside him. "I tried calling her house but the machine said that her parents were out of the country, but we decided to leave a message in case they check their voicemail. So we ended up looking at some of her things and saw your name and number on one of her IDs, so we decided to call you." Jason paused to look at Santana who just nodded her head, not being able to speak. So he continued,_

_"Ms. Pierce was in a car accident on her way back to Lima. And she was just transferred from one of the hospitals in Spencerville when they saw that she was from here…" Jason said when they stopped in front of a door that had Brittany's name on the side. When he was about to open the door, Santana put her hand up to stop him._

_"Wait," Santana says after regaining her voice. "Can I just go in there alone?" the girl asked. She saw Jason hesitate so she quickly added, "Please just for 5 minutes, then you can come in."_

_"Ms. Lopez, it's not really our protocol to just let you in without…"_

_"Please?" she pleaded, tears forming in her eyes. Jason looked around to see if anyone was watching them. He looked at his watch and told Santana that the nurses would come by to check on Brittany in 10 minutes so he will be back in 5. Santana said her thank yous and slowly opened the door when Jason walked away._

You've got 5 minutes_, she reminded herself._

* * *

Santana was surprised when she heard loud, upbeat music coming from the gym. She looked around and saw that most of the people were already inside; she figured that she didn't want to worry Quinn any more so she decided that it would probably be best if she went inside. And boy, was she wrong.

_Fuck._ The moment she stepped inside, she noticed that the song "Dinosaur" was playing. She knew that it was the one song that Brittany was supposed to sing for their prom. _Hell no. This isn't happening. _When Santana was about to turn around and walk back out, she felt a hand hold her arm stopping her from doing so. She looked at the person who held her arm and saw that it was Sam.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"To get some air." She answered too quickly earning a look from Sam.

"But didn't you just get here? I thought saw you come in…"

"Yeah well. I figured it was too stuffy in here with everybody grinding up on each other. It's horrifying. Where's Wheezy?" Santana asked as she pulled her arm away from Sam's hand.

"She went to the restroom. I think. Or went to meet Quinn by the punch." Sam shrugged. "It's so nice to see you tonight, Santana. You look pretty." He said with a smile. After some hesitating, Sam finally opened his _humongous _mouth to say something,

"Look, I don't really know what it is that you're going through or how you're feeling but…"

"You're right. You have no idea that I'm going through. So move out of my way, Salmon Lips, because _I_ am out of here." She said as she pushed pass Sam, and walk towards the door like she intended to.

As she was about to step outside, she heard someone call her. She thought she heard Brittany's voice._ It's not possible._ She slowly turned around only to be face with Quinn who, once again, looked at her with worried eyes.

Santana rolls her eyes and lets out a breath, "Quinn will you please stop looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm gonna break... I'm not gonna break, Q." Santana said, looking anywhere but at Quinn. _Don't cry. _All of a sudden she felt Quinn's pull her towards the girl's bathroom, and locked the door after telling the other girls to leave.

"I'm not gonna break..." Santana repeated, but this time it sounded like she was saying it to herself. _Don't fucking cry. _

Suddenly, she felt arms around her and then she was shaking. She was still fighting the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes, "It's okay, Santana. You can cry…" Quinn whispered. Santana finally let her tears fall, giving in knowing that she was no longer in control of her tears.

* * *

_When she opened the door, the first thing she heard was a beeping sound and it scared her. Brittany couldn't be seen directly from the door and knowing this, it gave the latina some odd sense of relief. Santana slowly walked towards the foot of the bed and tears started falling from her eyes at the sight before her._

_Brittany was lying on a bed with a tube in her mouth, head all bandaged up, and looked like she was in a brawl from all the dark coloring on her face. If you didn't know her, you wouldn't even think that it was Brittany. But Santana knew; she knew it was –is__–_ her girlfriend lying there.

_She made her way to the side of Brittany's bed and lightly put a shaking hand on her girlfriend's head. "Baby…" she softly cried. "What were you doing?" Santana asked as if the sleeping girl would answer her. She waited, and the only answer she got was the sound of the monitor beeping and the thing that was probably pumping oxygen into Brittany's body. Beep. Tssssh. Beep. Tssssh. Beep. Tssssh. Beep. Tssssh. She couldn't stop it, she wanted the sounds to stop. She wanted to hear her girlfriend's voice, to hear her breathing on her own again._

_She turned her head when she heard the door open slowly and saw Jason walk up to her. "Ms. Lopez, do you mind stepping out for a bit?"_

_Jason walked out of the room with Santana close behind. "Uhm, Ms. Lopez, we need to know who to call about Ms. Pierce's accident, and condition."_

_"Condition? What's going on?" Santana asked._

_"I can't tell you about that because you aren't family…" With the way Santana reacted, Jason knew he must've chosen the wrong words._

_"Who the fuck are you to say I am not family?" Santana fumed, "I am her fucking girlfriend! And when we get out of this fucktard of a place, I am going to marry her! I am going to marry that beautiful girl who's lying on that stupid bed in this stupid hospital; with those stupid bandages; and that stupid tube down her throat! I AM a part of her family!"_

_"That's not what I meant. I'm so sorry…"_

_"The hell you are…" She hissed._

_"But I really need to talk to her immediate family."_

_"They're out of the country." She said, crossing her arms over her chest._

_"Hm. Does she have any other adult relative in Lima that we could…"_

_"None. It's just her, her younger sister and their parents. But right now, she's the only one here."_

_After a few seconds of silence Santana remembered that her parents both worked in the hospital. _How the fuck did I not think of that_. "Call my parents, they both work in this hospital. Drs. Rodrigo and Gloria Lopez. Tell them that Brittany is here and that I'll be waiting for them in her room. GO!" She finally said, leaving the man in shock as she made her way back inside._

_Santana sat beside Brittany's bed still trying to think of reasons why her girlfriend was on the road back from Spencerville, and none come to mind. She looked around the room and saw that Brittany's back pack was on the couch near the window. So she stood up to get the back pack then made her way back beside the bed. but before opening it, Santana turned to the sleeping girl hoping to see her girlfriend say that it's okay to look through her bag. Nothing._

_She started rummaging through her girlfriends' bag only to see a Cheerios binder, a couple of school books, hairbrush, wallet, jug, cellphone, a few candies and a dinosaur key chain. __"There's got to be something in here Britt..." Santana says, while checking some of the pockets. _Nothing. _Santana lets out a frustrated sigh and slowly put Brittany's things back inside her bag. When she was putting the binder back inside the bag, a piece of paper fell out. Santana opened the piece of paper and placed a hand on her mouth as she gasped at what she read.__  
_

_In that piece of paper, and written in crayon was:_

_"Santana To-Do List..."_

* * *

**Let me know what you guys think! :) **


	3. Wake Up

**What's up, guys! Sorry I haven't updated this in so long. I think I'm moving a bit slow with the backstory and flashbacks, am I? My plan for this story is basically, Santana going solo on Prom night (if it still isn't obvious) -the whole night of prom. And maybe a few days after that, or so. So what do you guys think? Anyway, here is Chapter 3, so go ahead and read it. Hope you like it! Again, thank you for the Favorites and Story Alerts! :)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3 – Wake Up**

Santana stood infront of the mirror as she fixed her now ruined make-up. _Cry baby. _

"Well, for the record, I still think you look beautiful… even if you do kind of look like a raccoon." Quinn said with a smirk.

"Thanks, Fabray. Wish I could say the same thing to you…" Santana gave her a small smile.

"So S, how long do you think is the line outside this bathroom?" Quinn asked standing beside Santana, placing some of the make-up that Santana was done using inside her purse.

"Ha! Screw them; make them wait." Santana said, bumping the side of her hip on Quinn's.

"Come on, Santana. I'm kind of getting hungry and I hear the guys singing already." Quinn said as she took Santana's hand and started walking towards the doors. As she was about to open them, she felt a slight tug in her hand so turned to look at Santana. "It's gonna be okay, S. I promise."

When Santana nods her head, Quinn opened the door and saw a long line infront of the bathroom door. Smirking to herself, Quinn faced Santana and said, "Santana, I didn't know you took that long to take a shit. Look at this line!"

Santana's eyes went wide when she heard Quinn say that. But she just laughed it off knowing that it was her friend's way of cheering her up, even if it was just to embarrass her. And frankly, she didn't really give a damn.

The two friends made their way to their table and saw Puck talking in hushed tones with Artie. When Artie saw Santana and Quinn walk over, he gave them a small wave and wheeled his way towards Santana.

"Red definitely suits you Santana, you look awesome."

"You don't look so bad yourself, four eyes." Santana replied with a small smile.

The two have been on better terms after they had a conversation about Brittany being with Santana. And to the latina's surprise, Artie wasn't mad. He said that while he was with Brittany, he felt that there was probably someone Brittany loved more than him. Though he admitted that at first, it might have been quite a surprise that it was Santana, he told her that as long as Brittany was happy, and that if she made her happy, then that was okay.

"Thanks." He said, fixing his eyeglasses, "Well, I'm gonna go and get some punch, you girls want anything?"

"I'm good. Q?"

"Yeah… but I'll come with you. Be right back, guys." The blonde said pushing Artie's wheelchair, as Santana sat down on the chair beside Puck.

"So what were you two talking about?" Santana asked while looking at the two of her glee friends walk towards the punch bowl where Coach Sue was yelling at some student for touching the laddle. _Crazy bitch._

"Me and Abrams?"

"No, the little green fairy that was just here… Yes, Noah. You and Artie." She rolled her eyes.

"Uh… nothing really. Mario Kart, and… yeah… just some Mario Kart. Where have you been, Lopez?" Puck asked, changing the subject.

"Girls' bathroom with Quinn." She laughs a bit and hits Puck's arm when she sees him wiggle his eyebrows suggestively. "Not like that, doofus," Santana says shaking her head. "We were just talking." _You were crying._ She thought but she wouldn't want Puck to know that even if she would consider him as one of her closests friends.

Santana saw Quinn and Artie come back with four cups of punch, "We decided to bring you two some punch just in case you guys get thirsty." Artie said placing the cups from his lap, on the table.

"Thanks." Santana and Puck said in unison.

After a few seconds of silence from the four, Santana hears Artie say, "I can't get over how amazing this place looks."

Santana finally took the time to look at the decors, the streamers hanging from the ceiling, the dinosaurs, and feels herself smile. _Yes. Yes it does._

* * *

_Santana awoke to someone slightly shaking her, "Britt?" she mumbled._

"_No, mija. It's mami…" Santana wraps her arms around her mother's neck and just let her tears fall. Her mom whispered comforting words to her ear but for the first time in a long time, none of them actually made her feel better. After a few minutes, the door in Brittany's room opened and Santana lifter up her face from her mothers shoulder and saw her dad put his phone in the pocket of his white coat._

"_I just talked to Brittany's parents, and they're on their way to the airport to next flight back to Lima." Santana heard her him say._

"_Papi, what's wrong with…" Santana looked back at the girl lying on the bed. She couldn't bring herself to finish the question too afraid to know if there actually was something wrong with Brittany. _

_Santana's father placed his hand on her shoulder and she immediately placed her hand on top of it. "Santana, you know that the only people whom her doctor would talk to about the situation is her family…" He said apologetically. _

"_But… I'm also her family, Pa." She said removing her hand on her father's and placed it underneath Brittany's._

"_I know, mija. I know. But it's hospital policy, if it were reversed and Brittany's parents were in our position, they would do the same thing. I'm sorry, mija."_

_Santana didn't respond to what her father said, disappointed that no one would tell her what was going on._

"_If it makes you feel any better… I tried asking her doctor about what happened, and she didn't tell me either." He turned to his wife, "Did they tell you what happened?" he whispered._

"_No…" Gloria answered quietly._

* * *

Santana was brought out of her daze when she felt someone else sit beside her; it was Tina.

"Hey Santana," She started, but paused to wait for some sort of acknowledgement from Santana. When Tina saw her nod, she continued, "Um, don't get mad, and I know it's a bit insensitive knowing what's going on. And knowing how you've been holding up-" She immediately stopped when Santana's hand shot up in front of her face.

"Tina! You're rambling. Get on with it." Santana blankly said as she continued on sliding her glass from one hand to the other.

"Oh, Sorry. Okay, I came her to ask you if you'll be able to still perform "Love You Like A Love Song"? Mr. Schuester was asking me to ask you if you were still up for it."

Santana stopped playing with her glass and thought about it. The thing is that she had actually forgot that she was going to perform that song. Obviously, at first she was excited to perform that one because she could dedicate it to her prom date –Brittany. But after the incident, she was too busy researching on things that could help with what her girlfriend was going through, and it just never came to mind.

She shook her head, "I don't think I'll do it Tina. Can you just tell Mr. Schue that I'm still not ready…"

"Okay, I guess Mr. Schue could find someone to sing it… but Santana?"

Santana looked at Tina and waited for her to continue. The next thing she knew was that Tina was hugging her in an awkward way since they were both sitting next to each other, and then she thought she heard her sniff. _Is she crying?_

"Girl Chang, are you crying?" She didn't hear an answer. Instead, she felt Tina hug her tighter, and so she finally let herself hug the crying girl.

"I don't think anyone could perform the song like I know you would, Santana. It was made for you," she paused, "to sing to _her_." Now it was Santana's turn to hug Tina tighter; she closed her eyes.

They stayed like that for a while, until Santana felt Tina's arms loosen around her. When she looked at Tina, she knew for sure that the girl had been crying. Santana shook her head and gave out a chuckle.

"What?" Tina asked as she was taking out a tissue from her purse.

"It's just that I know I'm usually involved when you cry those Asian tears of yours. But I guess the funny thing is that, now? I didn't even go all Lima Heights on you, and here you are still crying."

"Ha ha ha. You know I cry a lot, so you shouldn't even be surprised. Anyway, I'm gonna go and tell Mr. Schue that you won't perform the song."

"Okay, you better get someone almost as good as I am." Santana joked as she shooed Tina away.

"Yeah yeah, bye."

She wasn't even alone for 5 minutes when someone tapped her shoulder.

"What do you want, Tubbs?"

"Have you seen Quinn?" Finn asked.

"Do I look like her chaperone, Hudson? And no, I don't know where she is." Santana quickly answered him, hoping he would go away when he got the answer. And fortunately, he did.

Santana stood up and turned towards the stage when she heard the screeching of the mic. She saw Mercedes, Tina, and Sugar walking towards the center of the stage.

"Hey guys, this song is called "Love You Like A Love Song"." Tina said as she introduced the song. "And, we would like to dedicate this song to Glee Club and Cheerios' "Forever Awesome Two-some", Santana and Brittany."

The crowd applauded and some of them even turned to look at her for a while but turned back their attention to the stage when Mercedes started singing.

Santana felt so overwhelmed that she had to sit back down, as she remembered the night when she and Brittany were video chatting. It was one of those nights when neither of them were allowed to sleep over.

She remembered her and Brittany making good fun of the song, and would split the verses between each other. The two of them would imitate Rachel's facial expressions while singing, and Brittany would imitate Finn's dance moves while Santana was singing. And it got so bad that they never finished the song because they were laughing so hard.

"Glad to see you smiling, Santana." Puck said, sitting next to her. "Weren't you supposed to sing this song?"

"Hey. Yeah, no. Told them I couldn't perform." She said tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't?" Puck asked, lightly pushing Santana with his shoulder.

"Both." Santana said, as she pushed him right back.

"You know she would've liked it if you performed, right?"

"That's what I heard... But just not yet." Santana said as she leaned her head on Puck's shoulder. _Not yet._


	4. Vital Signs

**HI! This is a fast update. Luckily I'm on my break and I'm able to write this chapter right away. BUT! It's only a flashback. It's longer than the previous chapters though, so I guess that's a good thing.**

**I've got a song for this one. You can load it before reading so you can just hit 'play' on the right scene. The song will be towards the end of the chapter, you can hit play, when it's Quinn's turn to sing. (Was that a spoiler? I think not.)**

**It's this one: /watch?v=K480BTMTpvo (just put youtube . com in front of it) **

**Maybe it's just me, but I hear hint of Dianna Agron's voice in this but obviously, it's not her.**

**Hope you enjoy this one! Thanks for the Favorites and Alerts, again! You can also tell me what you think. **

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**CHAPTER 4 – Vital Signs**

_Santana was answering her exam when Ms. Pillsbury came in and asked if Santana could be excused. Without finishing her exam, she immediately stood up, handed the test to the teacher, and dragged the guidance counselor out of the room._

"_What happened? Is she okay? What's going on?" Santana asked in a hushed tone once they were in the hallway._

"_Calm down, Santana. I just got a call from your dad saying that Brittany's vitals were improving. They're slowly getting better, but still –it's good news, right?"_

_Santana let out a breath and jumped to hug Ms. Pillsbury which took them both by surprise because one, she doesn't hug just anybody and this was so out of character; and two, Ms. Pillsbury is… well, Ms. Pillsbury._

"_Thanks! I gotta go." Santana let go and started to walk towards the exit doors of the school._

"_Santana! You can't just run out of school. It's cutting." Ms. Pillsbury said when she caught up to the cheerleader._

"_You have got to be kidding! For days, I've been wondering when there'll be some good news about Brittany and I hear nothing! And then you come here, excuse me from class, just to tell me that my girlfriend is getting better, but you stop me when I want to go check on her? Are you crazy?" Santana immediately stopped when she saw Ms. Pillsbury's eyes widen, and she didn't think that they could get any wider, but it did._

"_No, Santana I am not crazy. And I am still a teacher here, I don't think it's appropriate for you to talk to me that way but I'm going to let that one slide," she saw Santana let out a relieved sigh. "but in one condition."_

_When Santana had calmed down, she looked at the teacher who was in between her and the double doors. "What?"_

"_Just go and finish the rest of the day. We both know you only have Glee Club after your current class. And it starts in 20 minutes. If you want to leave Glee Club early, you're going to have to talk to Mr. Schue about it. So the condition is for you to finish the day, and then you can go and visit Brittany."_

"_What if I just go, right now?"_

"_Well, I'm might just give you detention for disrespecting a teacher, and for cutting class."_

"_That's black mail."_

"_Is it? I'm just following school rules, Santana. Think about it, if you just finish this day you can visit Brittany everyday, after school. But if you end up getting detention, you're going to have to stay in school a little while longer. It's up to you, Santana." Emma told her before walking back to her office._

_Santana thought about what Ms. Pillsbury said, and she does have a point. Glee Club is the only thing left to do after this class. And she knew she'd have less time to stay in Brittany's room if she ended up having detention so she decided to turn around and make her way to her locker._

_After fixing her things, Santana made her way to Ms. Pillsbury's office. She knocked on the door and waited for the counselor to finish stacking up on her pamphlets before entering. _

"_So, can I stay here for a while? I don't have anything to do in my class since we only had to take the exam."_

"_Have a seat." Emma said while she double checked the measurements between the objects on her desks. After moving the name plate on the desk an inch, she Emma was finally satisfied with how neat and organized her things were. "So, how are you holding up, Santana?"_

"_With what?"_

"_With the whole situation."_

"_Oh. Okay, I guess."_

"_Since you're here, would you want to talk about it?"_

_Santana thought about it, and it wasn't like she couldn't handle everything. She could. She knew she could. Although, nights were definitely difficult to handle knowing that Brittany was sleeping in a hospital bed, and not her own. It was definitely hard not knowing when Brittany will be able to wake up, and knowing that when Brittany would, that she would most probably be in school because she wasn't allowed to skip. But she knew she could handle it. She didn't need to talk to someone about it; she could handle it. Right?_

"_She's in a coma…" Santana was able to whisper and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She immediately wiped it off and turned her face away. She was about to continue but the bell rang signaling the 5-minute mark before classes ended, and that it was almost time for Glee Club. Santana stood and picked up her backpack._

"_Santana—"_

_She looked at the teacher and all she saw was sadness, and concern in her eyes. "I—I gotta go. Thanks for letting me stay, Ms. Pillsbury." Santana went straight to the choir room which to her luck, was still empty. She took a seat on one of the chairs at the back, leaned her head on the wall behind it and closed her eyes._

* * *

'_She's in a coma.' Santana thought. It was the first time she had ever said those words. And much to her dismay, it wasn't one of those things that if you say it out loud, it lightens up your mood, or it would feel like a weight has been lifted. It was one of those things that once you've said it, it makes it real and that there's no turning back. _

"_S…" Santana opened her eyes and saw a blurry Quinn sit next to her and immediately placed her arm around the cheerleader. It was at that moment that Santana noticed that she was silently crying. But with Quinn's arms around her, she felt herself let go. She didn't think that anyone else would be around because she knew Quinn always showed up early while the rest would come, maybe 10 minutes after Glee should actually start._

"_She's in a coma, Q." Santana cried. _

_It wasn't the crying that you could hear and immediately know that someone was crying. It was the soundless cries. The ones, which you just know you couldn't stop the tears from falling; no matter how hard you try. The more you try; the harder they fall. She cried when Quinn's hold got tighter. She cried when she heard Quinn's comforting words. She cried when the lights in the choir room were turned on. She cried when she heard her the other glee members come in. She cried when she heard Mr. Schue ask Quinn if she was alright. She cried when she heard Quinn whisper, "It's okay Mr. Schue, she just has to let it out, just start." She cried until she couldn't anymore. _

_With one final sniff, Santana slowly sat back up and wiped her tears. She finally looked at Quinn who was looking at her cautiously, like she would end up crying again. _

"_Thanks Q." Santana whispered. "For everything." _

"_Anytime, loser." Quinn said, smiling. Santana then raised her hand, interrupting Mr. Schue's discussion about something, and asked if she could say something. After reassuring Mr. Schue that she's okay and that her announcement would just be quick, she made her way to the front of the class._

"_Uh. So Ms. Pillsbury called me out a while ago, and she said my dad called to say that Brittany's vitals are improving," She nodded her head while the others whispered amongst themselves about how awesome it was that Brittany was getting better. She felt Mr. Schue's hand on her shoulder saying how great that was, and she thought she heard Mercedes say, "Praise!". _

"_Uh, unfortunately, Britt hasn't woken up yet. But I guess it's a good thing they said that she's improving. This would mean that," She paused for a while and looked at the hopeful faces of the rest of the glee club, "She could wake up anytime soon." Santana said, biting her lip nervously. "I know I asked you guys not to come by because the injuries were too… um, intense. And I know that Brittany wouldn't have cared if you saw her like that, but it's just… Anyway, I'm really thankful that you kept that in mind. Normally, I wouldn't ask you guys favors but seeing as we finally heard some kind of news, I was wondering if you would all like to come with me after Glee Club to go and visit her?" Santana asked them, nervously._

"_Of course, Santana." Rachel said answering on behalf of the club, and made her way next to her. "You should know by now that asking us to go with you to visit Brittany isn't a favor. We would love to go, am I right?" Rachel asked the glee members. And after hearing them say that they would all go after class, Santana thanked them and made her way back to where she was sitting._

"_That's such a good news, Santana." Quinn said. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"_

"_Well, I would have but you know… Tears and all that crap kind of got in the way."_

_Quinn let out a laugh, "Okay, gotcha!"_

"_Seriously though, thanks for everything Quinn."_

_The two friends turned to look at Rachel who was allowed by Mr. Schue to take center stage –like always- and she was talking about song choices that the glee club could sing when they visit Brittany after class. Some of them wanted Santana to sing but she refused. They did, however, decided that if it wouldn't be Santana, it would be Quinn considering she was also Brittany's best friend. One of Brittany's many best friends, of course._

* * *

_After the class, the group split into three cars and made their way to the hospital. They first made a few stops to buy Brittany some flowers, a few stuffed toys, and wrote on 'Get Well Soon' cards. Santana, however, just bought a long stemmed rose. When she was asked why shouldn't get Brittany other things all she said was "I'm gonna give her everything she wants when she wakes up." _

_When they got to the reception, Mr. Schue, who came to chaperone the glee kids, went to ask if they could see Brittany. The guy Santana talked to on the phone led them to the room, and before leaving, he told them not to make too much noise because it might disturb the other patients on the same floor. The group made their way inside and left a path for Santana who decided to enter last._

_When Santana got to Brittany's bed, she was glad to see that some of the physical injuries have significantly gotten better. She obviously has seen the improvement considering she was visiting everyday ever since Brittany was admitted. The only other glee club member that she had allowed to come visit was Quinn, but she wasn't as frequent as Santana because Quinn had to maintain her grades even if she had already gotten into Yale. But Santana was able to visit even if she had her Cheerios training; she stayed even if it was way past visiting hours. She asked her dad to pull some strings and let her stay for a bit longer. Most nights, she would find herself being woken up either by her dad, or her mom saying that they should go home and she could always come back the next day._

"_Hey B." Santana said, sitting on the edge of the bed as she took Brittany's hand. "I've got a surprise for you. You want to open your eyes and see the surprise?" Santana paused, still hoping that Brittany would open her eyes. With a sad sigh, she continued, "I brought the glee club with me today, Mr. Schue even came with us." She turned to look at the people surrounding the bed and gave them all a smile. _

"_Hey Brittany." The glee club said in unison. Then Mercedes said, "You gotta wake up, girl! Nobody's helping me out with my dance moves anymore." The rest of the club were chuckling at that. "Yeah, you owe me a battle, Brittany." She heard Mike say._

"_We brought you some stuff, baby girl." Quinn said placing blue duck she just bought beside the Brittany's pillow. "I got you a duck. Stuffed one, of course. I couldn't get you the real one because Santana said we already had Rachel yapping in glee club, we don't need a duck in there too." Quinn said chuckling when she heard Rachel gasp._

"_I was kidding, Berry." Santana reassured her. The rest of the glee club was still giggling at what Quinn just said._

_After the glee kids each told Brittany what they got her, Rachel nodded towards Santana signaling that it's time for them to sing to Brittany._

"_B, the rest of the glee kids got you one other thing. Maybe you can open your eyes now so you can watch them…" When she didn't get any response from Brittany, she stood up and sat on the chair next to the bed, not letting go of her girlfriend's hand. Santana leaned in towards Brittany's ear and whispered, "They're gonna sing you something, babe. I hope you can hear them." Santana kissed Brittany's temple, and leaned back as Puck started to play his guitar. _

_After two songs, sung by the rest of the club, there was one more left. It was the one song that they deicided to let Quinn sing. Puck started to pluck the notes from his guitar and Quinn started to sway in her place from the front of Brittany's bed. Santana has obviously heard them rehearse this song but couldn't stop her eyes from watering. She didn't cry when they were practicing this song, but this time, it felt different. She turned to look at Brittany still hoping to see some change in her face, but nothing was changing. But there was just something different with seeing Quinn sing this song infront of Brittany. _

_During Puck's solo, Santana thought that she heard the heart monitor beep a bit louder, so she turned to look at it. And it showed a different rate, the zig-zag line on the monitor got bigger, and she saw that the pulse was stronger. Santana stared at the monitor not really sure if she was just seeing things, but there it was again. Santana looked at Mr. Schue and he made his way next to Santana._

"_What is it?" He whispered. _

"_There was a change in the monitor. Please call the nurse." Santana whispered. She turned to her friends, "Quinn, Puck, just keep singing the song. Don't stop." She saw the others look worried, "Please, just keep singing." So they all joined in with Quinn and Puck._

'_Please don't take our sunshine away' they sang repeatedly._

"_Come on, babe. I saw that change. You can hear us. Squeeze my hand if you can hear us." No response._

_When the guitar stopped playing, she turned back to them and softly pleaded for them to not stop singing, so started singing the last lines again but this time, without the guitar. She saw Quinn walk towards the other side of the bed and hold Brittany's other hand._

"_Come on, B. Squeeze my hand, I know you can. Just wake up." Santana's voice was cracking; all of her hope was in this. She heard the glee club sing it softer, knowing that they were hoping for the same thing. After the glee club stopped singing, she buried her face on Brittany's hand and whispered, "Please don't take my sunshine away…" _

_The monitor beeps returned to normal, but there was only silence. And then she felt it. She felt Brittany's hand squeeze hers weakly. She lifted her head to look at the hand because she swore she just imagined it. She heard a few soft gasps but paid no attention to them, she just stared at the hand she was holding hoping that it would squeeze hers again._

"_Why'd you stop singing?" Her head snapped up to see Brittany smiling weakly at her._


	5. Remembering

**Here's Chapter 5 for you guys! Thank you again for the Favorites, and Alerts! It just encourages me to get chapters done. :) Hope you like this one!**

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**Chapter 5 – Remembering**

The two didn't speak for the rest of the song; not because they didn't have anything to say but because Puck knew Santana needed a break from talking to people –or just being talked to. And when the song ended, Santana was still leaning her head on Puck's shoulder.

For those short minutes, Santana was able to sit in silence and not worry about breaking down when other people would talk to her. After everything that had happened, she learned that the kids from Glee Club really do like, and accept her. Realizing that, Santana slowly tried to change. She tried to be more social with the Glee kids – but still trying not to get too close, but just enough to satisfy them; and to try and get to know them. And it saddens her that it took her three years, and for that incident to happen, to really realize that Brittany was right when she told her that Glee Club is like a "Family".

The Glee Club has been with her through everything –even when she shut them out. They sang her stupid songs, tried taking her out to shop (or in her case, shop lift), tried to have more 'hang outs' in Rachel Berry's basement, and stuff like that just to try and get her mind off of things. Santana tried to tell them that it wouldn't work, and that nothing they could do would help; but she humored them and let them have when they wanted.

She was tired of fighting them, and fighting with them.

Through it all, she learned that it was easier to just let them do what they want to do because it's how they handle things. She wouldn't admit it to any of them, but they were right. They were able to get her mind off of what had happened but after she'd realize that, Santana would just close up again and feel like she's betraying Brittany. Santana doesn't want to forget. She couldn't, and she knows that this is why she still feels miserable.

* * *

"_You can't go on like this, Santana." Emma Pillsbury told the girl. _

"_You're not moving on. You rarely participate in your classes, you quit the Cheerios, and Will told me that even if you're still in glee club, you just sit there at the back. He tells me you don't even fight for solos anymore, Santana. And it's been a week since…" She saw the former Cheerio tense up, so she decided to take a different approach. "Why don't we do some word association? I say a word, and you say the first thing that comes into mind, okay?" Santana shrugged._

"_Mornings."_

"_Tired."_

"_School."_

"_McKinley."_

"_Glee."_

"_Schuester."_

"_Food."_

"_Breadstix"_

"_Cheerios."_

"_Coach."_

"_Love." Santana didn't answer. So Emma tried again, "Love."_

"_I don't wanna do this anymore, Ms. Pillsbury." Santana said softly. Emma cleared her throat and tried to think of something else to get the student to continue talking. But her mind went blank. And for someone who's supposed to know how to handle situations, she doesn't know how to handle this one. Aside from who she is at school, Emma doesn't really know who 'Santana Lopez' is, and the only one who really knows the Santana –inside, and out- is Brittany. But Brittany is gone, and she won't be coming back._

"_You do know what you'll get through this, right?" Emma said walking around her table to sit on the chair beside Santana._

"_Can I be honest?" Santana asked, looking at the guidance counselor for the first time since walking in._

"_Of course, Santana." Emma's voice chirping up in hopes that Santana would continue to talk about whatever she's feeling._

_For a while, Santana didn't talk, not really knowing where to start. There were just so many questions. And all these questions were rushing to her head and she didn't know which one to ask first. She wanted to ask: 'Why?' or 'What happened?' But when she saw the picture of the Glee Club hanging on the wall behind her guidance counselor, Santana couldn't speak. _

_She remained silent for the rest of the day. _

* * *

Santana was brought out of her thoughts when Mercedes, Tina and Sugar sat down on the chairs surrounding the table.

"Phew! That's the last time I'll be singing as a last-minute replacement…" Mercedes said as she drank from the cup she was holding. "Damn girl. I wish you would've told me earlier that I was going to sing, I was scared I might forget the words!" She told Santana.

"You did alright, Wheezy." Santana said as she raised her head from Puck's shoulder. However, Puck didn't remove his hand on Santana's shoulder; if anything, he pulled her closer.

"I was really good." Santana turned to look at Sugar who was sitting in between Tina and Mercedes. "What? We all know that you weren't _that_ good, and of the three of us up there? I was the best. And Tina, you were a little all over the place. I think you almost hit the guitarist when you twirled. " Sugar stated. Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head, while Tina gave a soft chuckle.

"Asperger's." Mercedes, Tina and Santana said in unison.

"Well, I'm gonna go get some punch, any of you ladies want one?" Puck said, standing up. When the four girls declined his offer he turned to Santana, "I'm gonna go get something to drink, and then find Quinn. I think she's about to count the ballots. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Yeah, no. Go ahead."

"Okay, well if you need anything… you know where to find us."

"Thanks."

When Puck started to leave, Santana grabbed his hand and pulled him close to say something in his ear. As soon as Puck nodded, Santana let go of his hand and went back to listening to the girls talk about how Finn went out to pick up Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine from their "Anti-prom party".

Santana couldn't believe that the three went through with that lame 'party', but she understood the whole anti-prom thing. She would've joined them, and in fact she had told them that she might come, but she was reminded that she had promised Brittany that she would come to prom.

_Prom sucks._ Santana thought; and remembered how she also said that last year after losing to Kurt for Prom Queen. But she knew this year is worse than the last year because at least last year, Brittany was at the same prom. And this year? She's not.

"So Berry just texted me. Saying that the she's on her way to Prom and that the room was still paid for an overnight so we can have a "Glee After Party" after this." Mercedes said, placing her cellphone on the table.

"Oooh! A party! I'm in." Sugar said excitedly.

"Yeah, sure. Me too. I'll tell Mike about it later. We didn't really make any plans after this anyway." Tina said while she looked around to look for Mike.

"What about you, Santana? You in?" Mercedes asked her.

"I don't know, you guys." Santana said putting her hands under the table napkin. _But like, under the napkin. _

"Come on, Santana. A party won't be a party if you don't show up." Tina pleaded.

"Yeah, come on. Momma S." Sugar added.

Santana chuckled at Sugar's nickname for her. _Momma S._ Sugar started calling her that a couple of weeks after starting the Troubletones. In fact, Sugar only called her and Brittany as Momma 'somethings'. It all started when Brittany was more of 'maternal' in terms of taking care of Sugar when it came to people trying to bully her –because of her Asperger's, and when people would take advantage of her because she was rich. So Sugar decided to call her Momma B because of that and since Santana was Brittany's girlfriend, she got called Momma S via Association. And since Brittany liked being called that by Sugar, Santana decided that it was just for the best not to protest.

Santana thought about it for a while. "Hmm… I don't know I'm kind of tired. We'll see. I'll try to drop by or something."

"Yes! I'll tell them you're coming!" Mercedes said.

"Santana's coming to what?" Mike said, sitting down beside Tina. He put his arm around his girlfriend, "What are you girls talking about?"

"I was just about to look for you. We were just talking about a Glee After Prom Party. And Santana's coming." Tina told him as she moved closer to him.

"Cool! Since when did we have an After Prom Party?" he asked the girls.

"Since Berry texted that she's on her way here and that the room was still paid for an overnight." Sugar said.

"Well, I'm glad you're coming Santana." He said smiling.

"I didn't say I was coming, Mike."

"But they said that—" he looked at the girls confused.

"She said, she'll 'drop by or something'." Mercedes quoted Santana.

"That's exactly what I said, I didn't say that I would go…"

"Yeah, but I didn't hear you say 'No'. So I'll just hold you to it. That you'll drop by." Santana wanted to say something but decided that she probably had lost this round, and she just didn't have the energy to debate over wordings.

"Okay, I'm gonna look for the guys and tell them about this. And I think I should look for them anyway, we'll be performing in a while." Mike said and gave Tina a kiss on the cheek before leaving the table.

"Yeah, I'm gonna find Quinn and Puck, and tell them about this After Party thing that's going on." Santana said. When the others nodded, she made her way towards where she knew Quinn and Puck would be.

* * *

Santana was walking down the hallway on her way to Quinn and Puck who were probably counting the votes when she decided to make a short stop. She stood in front of Brittany's locker –or what used to be Brittany's locker, and unlocked it. She knew the code anyway since Brittany asked her at the beginning of the school year to remember hers as well.

It wasn't like she was expecting to see anything inside but it still made everything hurt seeing how empty the locker is. _Everything's gone. _On the back of the door, there used to be stickers of unicorns and rainbows and other Brittany-esque things, post-its, pens with those rubber things at the top of it, the cover of Cheerleader magazine, photos of the two of them in with the Glee Club, or in Breadstix, or just on the couch watching something. But now, it looks like it hasn't been used the whole year when in fact, it was emptied out just a couple of weeks before Prom.

The day she got the call that Brittany was in an accident, they had the whole week assigned to: Saturday Night Fever. And on the day before, she performed "If I Can't Have You" in front of the Glee Club. After school that day, Brittany and Santana got into a discussion about Santana's views on fame. And Santana remembered it clearly.

* * *

_Brittany was walking rather quickly towards the car park with Santana following behind her._

"_Brittany, stop." Santana pleaded. "Britt." Santana got a hold of Brittany's elbow and turned her around so that they were facing each other._

"_What is it, Santana?"_

"_Why are you mad at me?"_

"_I'm not mad, S. I'm just… I don't know."_

"_Will you please tell me what this is about Britt? I really don't understand what's going on." Santana said as she placed both her hands on Brittany's waist._

"_I'm just confused San." _

"_Then why won't you talk to me, babe? You always tell me when you get confused, and we agreed that we'd talk about it –whatever it is." Brittany remained silent. "What's so different this time that you won't tell me?"_

"_Because…I don't want you to get mad."_

"_What? Hey…" Santana placed her hand on Brittany's chin and moved it so she could look at Brittany. "Hey, when did I ever get mad at you for anything? Hm?" _

_Brittany gave her a small smile but it faded when she remembered why they were here out in the parking lot. "Okay. It's just that… what you said in glee club."_

"_The fame thing?" Brittany nodded. "Why did I confuse you Britt?"_

"_It's because I think about how we were talking about being together, become famous together, raise our little lady babies together and we'll live happily ever after like all the fairy tales but with 2 princesses instead of a prince." Brittany paused for a while to catch her breath. When Santana nodded, she took it as a sign to continue._

"_But after hearing what you said in Glee, it felt like now that we're seniors and about to graduate, it's like being famous is your priority. And I feel like I come in second now. So I guess I'm just confused if whether things changed. And if we now have to put our lady babies plan on hold so you can be famous…"_

"_Britt, honey, you do know that I love you right?" Brittany nodded. "And that no one else will ever come before you…" Again, Brittany nodded. "Babe, it's just like the song: "If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby." I wasn't just talking about people, B. Nothing else matters, if I don't have you. And that goes with fame. I know I'm going to be famous, and when I do, I know that you'll be there with me because nothing in this world would or could ever be as important as having you in my life. You will never be second best, because you're it, B. Do you understand that now?"_

"_Yeah. I'm sorry, San."_

"_There's nothing to be sorry for, B" Santana pulled Brittany into a tight hug. "If anything, I should be sorry for confusing you. I'm sorry."_

"_I have an idea." Brittany said after pulling away from Santana. She pulled on her girlfriend's hand so they were walking towards her car._

"_What is it? Where are we going?"_

"_We are now going home and we'll start making plans on how we can get you famous." Brittany said letting go of her girlfriends' hand so she can go to the driver's seat and unlock the car._

_When they were both sitting in the car Santana told Brittany that they didn't have to do that but Brittany just shushed her as she started her car._

_Brittany turned towards Santana, "Don't be silly Santana. You want to get famous. We can make you famous. You say the dream, and I help build your dream. That's what partnership is about, right?" _

"_Right." Santana gave her a quick kiss on the lips. _

"_Righty. So here's what we're gonna do…" Brittany started as she pulled out of the parking spot._

_Santana couldn't say anything because Brittany kept going on and on about her ideas that could help in making Santana famous. Santana stopped Brittany's idea about putting up the sex tape that they made even if Brittany's plan was to splice it up with Lord Tubbington's home chores. The whole ride to Brittany's house was just full of ideas that Brittany told Santana to write them all down on a piece of paper._

* * *

Santana slowly closed Brittany's locker and made her way to Puck and Quinn, which wasn't really far from where she was. She didn't make a sound when she heard Puck and Quinn talking about something.

"Quinn, don't."

"Why not, Puck? Santana always wanted to be Prom Queen, and since she isn't here, I think it's a nice opportunity to finally make her one."

"I don't think it's a good idea. And plus, you won Quinn. You've also been wanting to win Prom Queen. You win fair and square, Q."

"But, Santana…"

"But nothing, just listen to me Quinn. I know you want to make Santana happy; I get it. I want her to be happy too. But do you know what she told me before I came here?"

There was a pause so Santana assumed that Quinn was probably thinking about it.

"She told me that whatever happens, she didn't want to be Prom Queen if Brittany wasn't King. And Q, it's clear that Brittany didn't win this one…"

It was then that Santana decided to make her presence known clicking her heels loudly on the floor so that they wouldn't think that she was listening to what they were just talking about.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"


	6. Scholarship

**Hey guys! Sorry about the confusion on the previous chapter. I would probably be confused too with the whole time differences of the flashbacks. (When Brittany woke up, and the one in Emma Pillsbury's office) Buuuuut, I immediately worked on this chapter so that there wouldn't be too much confusion! **

**I was supposed to finish and post this sooner but I got a terrible migraine that pretty much put everything I was doing on hold.**

**But here is Chapter 6, hope you guys like this one. Let me know what you think. :) Oh, thanks again for the faces and alerts!**

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**Chapter 6 – Scholarship**

Puck and Quinn turned to Santana who was standing in the doorway with her arms across her chest.

"Hey S. Puck said you weren't coming here?" Quinn said as she started to fix the pile of papers scattered on the table in front of her.

"Yeah. But uh, figured I should tell you guys that the Glee Club is having an after party. Thought you guys should know. "

"A party? Puckasaurus is in!" Puck says, checking his phone. "Uh, Santana can you help Quinn with these? I gotta talk to Artie really quick. See ya."

Santana made her way to help Quinn fix the ballots and put them all back in the box. "What's up with him?"

Quinn shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe they're planning to spike the punch again. You know how Puck is."

"Ha! Yeah. So I see you've won Q. Congratulations!" Santana said when she saw the count on the black board.

"Yeah. I won by one vote." Quinn said. "I won. It's everything I've ever wanted, and I don't feel any different."

"Cool. Well I still think you deserved to win Q."

Quinn turned to Santana, "You know we've really had our dream high school careers. Mega popular. Doing whatever we wanted –who ever we wanted. You know I'm really not surprised that we were the Top 2 candidates?"

"Yeah well, we all know why people voted for me though. Brittany."

"Santana don't you understand that there are people who genuinely like you?"

"How can they? I've only been a bitch to most of the students in this school."

Quinn was silent. She didn't know what to say because Santana had a point, Santana had been a bitch to most of the students but that didn't mean that people still didn't like her.

"And we all know that the votes that I got were sympathy votes. They only feel sorry for me because of Brittany." Santana said, sitting beside Quinn.

"That's not true. People know that you're a nice person, Santana. And deep down, you know that. You just have to accept it. The moment Brittany woke up, everything changed. You felt it; we all felt it. There was something different when you walked these halls at that time, when you talked to the other students; it was like everything was going to be okay…"

"And for a while, they were." Santana said sadly.

"And for a while, they were." Quinn repeated. "But it was never your fault, S. Brittany woke up, and we all thought things were going to get better. We were all excited to see that smile again, and yours as well." Quinn paused, "But S, these things happen…"

"Yeah but I never really thought this would be one of those things, you know? I didn't think that things could actually go wrong when things were just getting better. Brittany's physical injuries were getting better. Quinn, she was really getting better."

Quinn took Santana's hand and held it tight. "I know, S. For that short time that we had her back, things were going great, and she was getting back to being the bubbly Brittany we all knew and loved." Santana flinched a little when Quinn used those words. _Knew_ and _Loved_. Like it was already in the past. Brittany's only been gone for 2 weeks. It wasn't in the past. It was still all too new.

"Nobody saw it coming, Santana; we were _all _blind sided by it. You even told me that you've read in the research that you did, that sometimes people wake up and things would be okay, and that all of a sudden there would be some organ failure that you know… Well, you know."

"But it's Brittany. She's such a beautiful person, and so _so_ young for this to happen to her. She's sunshine and daisies; she's rainbows and unicorns. She's that one bright crayon in every box. She's everything… and now it's gone. She's gone." Santana let a single tear drop. She was kind of relieved that she isn't breaking down again because it gets tiring after a while.

"She _is_ all of that, and more. But Santana, being all of that doesn't make her an exemption when you know it's time. And her time came. Yes, it sucks that she's so young for it to happen, and that your relationship has yet to grow, but it is what it is."

For a while, Santana didn't speak.

"Did I ever tell you why she went to Spencerville?" Quinn shook her head. Santana chuckled when she remembered why Brittany went to Spencerville.

* * *

_It was a few days after Brittany had woken up from her short coma. Everyday since she woke up, the Glee Club visited her. Santana was once again by her side. She stayed behind after the Glee Club had left and had just told her about her day at school and that the kids from Cheerios miss her. _

"_So babe, you know we need to talk right? About what happened?"_

_Brittany shook her head, "Pudding first." She said opening her mouth, waiting for Santana to feed her._

"_Okay, okay, so you wanna tell me why they found you and your car in Spencerville?" Santana asked as she fed Brittany a spoonful of chocolate pudding, and she ate spoonful too._

"_Hey! That's my pudding." Brittany pouted._

_Santana opened her mouth, which was full of pudding. "'Ou wan' 'ome pu'ing?"_

"_Ew." Brittany laughed. "Fine, babe. You can have that." Santana closed her mouth and finished swallowing the pudding._

"_So, Spencerville."_

"_Hm. Remember when we were talking about how we could make you famous?" Santana nodded. "Well, I had an idea that maybe we could get you to join Fear Factor."_

"_And how would you do that?" Santana interrupted._

"_Shhh. I was just getting to that. But I want more pudding…" Santana rolled her eyes and scooped another spoonful of pudding to feed Brittany. "Hmm. Yum! Anyways, so the next day after we talked about them, I drove to Spencerville to get you some bull's testicles. But I got hungry on the way back so I ate one and then that was it…" Brittany finished, looking down at her hands._

"_That was sweet of you, babe. But you didn't have to do that for me. I thought we talked about some of the ideas that we'll do that would help the both of us. Remember? I sing, while you dance? That sort of stuff…" Santana said, kissing Brittany's hand._

"_But I just thought it would be cool if you could be in Fear Factor and you know, you're supposed to be willing to eat crazy stuff on that show."_

"_Yeah, but to be honest B. As good as your intentions were, I don't think I'll be able to put any kind of ball in my mouth…" Santana smirked, "You on the other hand…"_

"_Santanaaaaa! I got hungry."_

"_Sure you did." Santana joked. "Oh, by the way. Prom is in two weeks! I'm excited, are you?"_

"_Yeah. I've been doing some physical therapy, and I've been pushing myself hard..."_

"_Wanky." Santana interjected._

"_Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you." Brittany said, winking at Santana who was now open mouthed, shocked at Brittany's retort. "You wearing that red dress I picked out, and me wearing some awesome thing that would surprise you. So yeah, hopefully I'll be back to my full self on Prom. So I can dance with you, in front of everyone. Spinning you around, in front of everyone. And kissing you in front of everyone; especially after we win Prom King and Queen."_

"_I'd like that. But don't push yourself too hard, okay? They just took of some of the wires that were sticking on you. You wouldn't want something bad to happen that you'd need them again." Santana said eating the last spoonful of pudding._

"_You ate my pudding…"_

_Santana leaned in to whisper something in Brittany's ear, "You want me to eat your pudding?" _

_Brittany whimpered, and in an instant she was kissing Santana. When Brittany's tongue made it's way to Santana's mouth, Santana pulled away._

"_Britt—" Santana was silenced when Brittany's lips were on hers again. She pulled away for the second time. "Babe come on. As much as I want this to keep going, we can't."_

"_Come on, Santana. I'm all better now, besides it's not like we're gonna get caught. I've got you all to myself now…" Brittany countered as she slowly leaned her head towards the Latina. "And plus," She whispered. "We can always lock- "_

_Brittany wasn't able to finish what she was saying because Santana ran towards the door to lock it and was already kissing Brittany. Brittany was smiling throughout the kiss knowing that she had won this round._

"_Are you sure you're all better?" Santana asked as Brittany started kissing her neck. And when Brittany made her mark on Santana's neck, she knew the answer._

_That night, the two made love on the hospital bed; neither of them knowing that it would be the last time._

* * *

It was the first time Santana talked about the reason why Brittany was in Spencerville.

"It's just like Brittany though…" Quinn said shaking her head.

"What do you mean?"

"That she would have this idea, like you going to Fear Factor, and just train you for that." She said chuckling.

"Yeah. It is just like her." Santana said smiling.

"S?"

"Hm?"

"That week. The week that Brittany died, Coach Sue told me you got a cheerleading scholarship. But you declined the scholarship and then you quit the Cheerios. What happened there?" Quinn asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I got the cheerleading scholarship from the University of Louisville. Coach said it was Brittany's idea to get me that scholarship. I just… I don't think I can go to that school, continue with the scholarship and just not be reminded of everything that happened, you know? It's hard enough going through with rest of the school year wearing those Cheerios uniform without remembering how we were when we first wore them. So I quit." Santana explained, "I just don't think I can go through with it. Not without her…"

"Come on, S. Don't you think –and I don't mean this to offend you but—don't you think you a little bit over reacting?"

"Am I though?" Santana asked, standing up. "She's the only one who stood by me when everyone in this place hated me. She's the only one I truly loved, and now she's gone. We've already started planning our lives once we get out of Lima, Q. We planned on going somewhere far from here, where I'm gonna be somebody and she's gonna be this famous dancer that every dancing company would kill to have. We'd get married, live in a small house but one with a big backyard so that our future kids would have a place to run around while we talk about the good times we had raising them. So tell me something, am I really overreacting when I say that my entire life was built around her?"

Quinn remained silent the whole time that Santana was pacing the classroom.

"It wasn't just a line from a song, Q. It is real…" Santana whispered. "I'm so lost, I don't know where or how to begin living without her."

Quinn walked towards Santana and held her; she couldn't let Santana see that she was crying too. Santana needed a friend, someone who'll be the strong one when Santana gets like this.

"Well, you can start by taking that scholarship to Louisville…" The two broke apart when they heard someone else's voice. It was Puck.

"How long have you been there?" Santana asked wiping her eyes. Quinn stood behind her as she did the same.

"Doesn't matter." Puck said walking towards the two girls. "What matters is that Brittany got you that scholarship, and she may have not known that she would pass away because who would? But that scholarship, Santana –that scholarship is the ticket you need to start your life. It will be different, it will be hard, but it's where you should begin."

"It wouldn't be the same without her…"

"Of course it wouldn't. She's gone, Santana. And you have to accept that. But you're still not moving on. Listen to me, " Puck took both of Santana's hands and gave them a light squeeze. "Take that scholarship; I'm sure Sue still hasn't told the school you declined it. Just go to Louisville, top your class, do something great in the future. Just because Brittany isn't physically with you, doesn't mean she'll ever be gone."

Santana pulled on Puck's hands and gave him a hug. She then waved to Quinn to join them. "Thanks you, two."

"Okay, as much as I love being in a blonde and brunette sandwich, we do have to go back to Prom. They're waiting for the results, Q."


	7. Always

**Hey guys, sorry this took a little too long but here it is. Chapter 7.**

**Thank you for the favorites and alerts. And I also noticed how I've been forgetting to thank the people who reviewed for the previous chapters. I don't know how I did that, but THANK YOU for reviewing. And, I hope you guys like this one.**

**Also, you can listen to this during one part of this chapter. You'll know which part, when you get there. **

**It's Smile by Glee Cast (Charlie Chaplin Cover) **

**Here's the link: youtube watch?v=hJFiMPYjnmw**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7 – Always**

Puck, Quinn and Santana made their way out of the classroom when they saw Rachel walking towards them.

"Hey." Rachel greeted, "Um, Quinn? Can I talk to you for a second?"

The three looked at each other and back to Rachel.

"Yeah, sure." Quinn said unsurely.

"We'll wait for you round the corner, Q." Santana said as she and Puck started walking away. "If Gay-Berry here tries anything on you, just saying something like you'll punch her in the schnoz."

* * *

"What do you think that was about?" Puck whispered when they were out of earshot.

"I don't know. And I could say the same thing about you, and Abrhams. What's that about, Puckerman?" Santana asked as she leaned on one of the lockers.

"Like I said, Mario game stuff." Puck answered as he leaned on the lockers opposite the latina.

"You think I'm gonna buy that bullshit?"

"What." Puck said while he nervously fixed his boutonniere.

"Fine. Don't tell me, it's not like I care anyway." Santana answers, hoping that reverse psychology would work on her friend –and it did.

After sighing, Puck told Santana why he spent talking to Artie for some part of the night. He told her that there was supposed to be a "surprise" video tribute for Brittany, and he was trying to tell Artie that it might not be a good idea to surprise her because he still wasn't sure if it was even okay to talk to her about Brittany. He told Artie that he didn't know how she would react if she were caught off guard by the whole thing. After some talking sense into Artie, Artie gave Puck the go signal to inform her about it.

"Why didn't you just tell me all about it, Puck?"

"What did you want me to say? 'Hey Santana, there's going to be a video displaying your girl tonight. Hope you like it.' I wasn't even sure if you were going to come down the stairs when we picked you up." Puck answered placing his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't. I didn't want to." Santana answered truthfully. "But I made a promise to Britt. So here I am…"

Puck walked towards Santana and leaned his should on the lockers next to hers. "So do you regret coming?"

"Honestly?" She asked looking at him. "I don't know. It's like I'm here, and I don't feel anything about me being here. All I do is miss her; everything I see, or hear, or do, remind me of her. And I just… I just wish she was here, you know?"

Puck nodded and gave Santana a hug. "I wish she was here too, Santana." When he pulled away, he smiled at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just remembered talking to her about graduation when I stayed in the hospital room, waiting for you to get there."

"Yeah? What about graduation?"

"It's not really a happy conversation, but like we were talking about how we probably wouldn't graduate with you guys. And if that would happen, we'd probably drop out of McKinley and just follow you guys out of here. We can always finish our high school somewhere else; we just wanted to be near you."

"Oh come on, Puckerman. As if the Glee Club would allow you to graduate a year later. And I wouldn't let it happen to Brittany, either. The glee club would probably sing you some silly song about memorizing places and shit like that." Santana joked. "But seriously though, graduating on time shouldn't be you guys' worry. "

"Yeah, well I'm failing Geography."

"Then we'll tutor you." Quinn said when she finally came back from her talk with Rachel.

"So what did Berry want?" Santana said pushing herself off of the lockers.

"Something about Finn, jealousy, being friends. Just Rachel Berry being Rachel Berry, and how she voted for me to win… Stuff like that…" Quinn told the two absent-mindedly.

Santana snickered, "Maybe that was the one vote that made you Prom Queen."

Quinn laughed, but fell silent.

"What are you thinking about, Quinn?" Puck asked.

"I don't know. I just thought about something."

"Yeah? What about?" Santana asked, looking a bit confused.

"About Prom Queen. I know I won but—"

"But it's what you've always wanted. Plus, you kind of won fair and square..." Puck interrupted her.

"Yeah, I know." Quinn turns to Santana, "But don't you want to leave this place having made a difference?"

"What are you trying to say, Q?"

"I'm not really sure, but Rachel said some things about how she used to want to be like me… And I was just thinking that why don't we give her this."

"And by this, you mean?" Puck asked, looking clearly confused.

"This. This prom. I won Prom Queen and like I told Santana, it doesn't feel different. And I know that this might seem crazy, but why don't we just giver her, _this –_being this year's Prom Queen. " Quinn told the two.

"I don't know, Q. But what about the other candidate?" Santana asked.

"Well, Kurt won last year's Prom Queen and it was through write-in votes. Why don't we just do the same thing this year? We'll be the only people in the school who'll know about this."

"I'm in. I'm all for a fellow Jew winning the votes anyway." Puck said walking back to one of the classrooms.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a new paper thing for the result. We gotta change the name on it. Be right back."

The two girls nodded. "Are you sure about this Quinn? I mean hasn't it always been a family thing? Being Prom Queen?" Santana asked.

"Yeah but it was also in the family to get pregnant _after_ marriage." Quinn chuckled, "I'm kind of a fan of family breaking traditions."

Santana laughed. "Guess you're a rebel now, Ms. Yale?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm also one of the Skanks now…" Quinn said linking one of her arms in Santana's.

"Oh. Don't remind me." Santana playfully removes her arm from Quinn's but Quinn linked them again. "So, Puck told me that there's going to be a video for Brittany tonight. Did you know about that?"

"I heard talks but didn't know if they were going to push through with it." Quinn said honestly. "Are you going be okay with it, S?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

Quinn was about to say something when Puck arrived and showed that he already wrote in Rachel's name on the paper. Puck asked Quinn again if she was really sure about this decision, to which she said she was. He told the girls that the tribute video would be shown before the announcement of this year's Prom King and Queen. He asked Santana if she would be able to watch it. After some time just thinking about it, Santana nodded saying that she would try.

"You can stand next to me. I'm going to have to sing "Take My Breath Away" anyways. Which reminds me… will you be able to sing with me?"

"Yes." Santana answered too quickly.

Quinn looked at Santana for a few seconds and slowly nodded. "Okay, let's do this."

* * *

The three friends made their way towards the stage to where Principal Figgins was waiting. When Puck handed him the envelopes for the result, he thanked them and made his way to the center of the stage.

"Students of McKinley, may I have your attention please?" Figgins said as his voice boomed inside the whole gymnasium. He waited for the noises from the students to die down before speaking.

"It's almost the time we've all been waiting for. The result for this year's Prom King and Queen!" The student's cheered and once again, he waited for the cheers to stop before asking the nominees for King and Queen to come on stage. They were, of course, missing one nominee –Brittany.

"Before I announce this year's winners, some students have asked permission to show you a video of one of the most magical students McKinley was so lucky to have."

The lights of the auditorium were instantly shut off, and the only light source was coming from the projector that was pointed to one, that is now an empty wall. Nobody even noticed that the decorations on that part of the room were slowly being taken down and moved throughout the night just for this special moment.

Santana was still standing on the stage with the nominees, and didn't notice she was holding Quinn's hand until she felt Quinn squeeze hers. Quinn gave her friend a soft smile and asked if she was ready.

Santana shook her head, "No, never."

"You'll be okay, Santana." Quinn said. She waited for some reaction from Santana, and when she slowly nodded, she turned to look back at the wall in which they had a perfect view.

When the music started, Santana thought she couldn't squeeze Quinn's hand any tighter, but she did. It was one of the songs the glee club wanted to sing to Brittany while she was still unconscious but it didn't make the final set.

_Smile, though your heart is aching_

_Smile, even though it's breaking_

_When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by_

_If you smile through your pain and sorrow_

_Smile, and maybe tomorrow_

_You'll see the sun come shining through_

_For you_

The video showed Brittany being Brittany, and occasionally they showed her with Santana. Some videos were from their performances, random glee club songs, or from Jacob Ben Israel's videos. Brittany with the glee club, or Brittany's Fondue for Two. It was a whole lot of Brittany, and Santana was feeling overwhelmed.

_Light up your face with gladness_

_Hide every trace of sadness_

_Although a tear may be ever so near_

_That's the time you must keep on trying_

_Smile, what the use of crying?_

_You'll find that life is still worthwhile_

_If you just smile_

Santana watched the video and felt like she was seeing Brittany alive, again. It felt like the first time she had laid eyes on her. The first time, she looked at Brittany and realized that she was in love with her. The moment, she opened her eyes after kissing Brittany for the first time. The first time she looked at Brittany and said, "I love you" and meant it as more than a friend. The feeling she had when she saw Brittany again, after they had their first disagreement as a couple. It felt like the morning after they had first made love. It was like the first time she saw Brittany awake from her accident. All of the feelings from all of their firsts and in-betweens; Santana was feeling them all.

_That's the time you must keep on trying_

_Smile, what's the use of crying?_

_You'll find that life is still worthwhile_

_If you just smile_

Quinn turned to Santana when she felt the girl beside her shake. She let go of Santana's hand and wrapped an arm around the girl's waist. Quinn looked across the stage and made eye contact with Puck who was looking at them nervously. Puck immediately made his way to Santana without drawing any attention to them, and held her waist while Quinn took Santana's hand again.

_Smile, though your heart is aching _

_Smile, even though it's breaking_

_When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by_

_That's the time you must keep on trying_

_Smile, what's the use of crying?_

_You'll find that life is still worthwhile_

_If you just smile_

Santana let a tear fall from her eye and knew that it wasn't a sad tear. There was a small smile on her face by just looking at Brittany from the video being shown. It was a smile of acceptance. Acceptance for the fact that Brittany was hers, and that even if Brittany is gone, nothing could ruin what they have had. Santana was absolutely sure that nothing would ever compare to what she had with Brittany and it would always be something that she would be proud to have had experience that kind of love.

_You'll find that life is still worthwhile,_

_If you just smile_

The video ended, with: _"Ms. Brittany S. Pierce. Magic."_

The lights in the auditorium were turned on and it was clear that the students in the gym had tears in their eyes. Everybody knew Brittany, and in some way, Brittany has touched each and every one of their lives. After a few seconds of silence, the crowd started to clap their hands and cheered. Maybe it was for the people who were responsible for the video tribute, or maybe it was for Brittany. But Santana clapped her hands for Brittany. For the girl who has changed her and her life for the better, by just existing.

Principal Figgins made his way back centerstage and thanked the students who were responsible for such a moving video and said a short speech how everybody in this room is so lucky have had Brittany S. Pierce in their lives. Puck took this as his cue to leave the stage because it was just about time to announce the results.

"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting and voting for. Prom King and Queen." Just like expected; another cheer from the audience erupted.

Santana lightly tugged on Quinn's hand to get her attention.

"What is it?"

"I gotta go, Quinn."

"What? Now? They're just about to announce the winners?" Quinn whispered quickly, and turned to the audience to give a small smile. She turned to face Santana when she felt her hand being tugged again.

"We both know who wins, Q. I just- I've got to go. Now."

"But—Can't you just go after prom? Where are you going anyway? You never mentioned anything earlier…"

"I just have to do something." Santana answered looking at the ground.

"Can't you just go later? We're leaving after the Prom King and Queen's dance anyway. You're going to sing with me, remember?"

Santana was silent for a while, but answered. "Yeah, but the video… Quinn, I just. I've got to go. Please?"

With a sigh, Quinn hesitantly let go of Santana's hand. "But text me for anything, okay?" Santana nodded and slowly backed away. She made her way down the stage but was stopped by Puck.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I have to go…" Santana moved to the side to walk past Puck.

Puck quickly caught up with her and asked her where she was going. And he was only met with the same answer.

"I'll come with you."

"No, Puck. I've got to do this alone. Quinn knows I'm going. So please just let me leave?" Santana pleaded.

"Fine. Okay, but just text me if anything happens, or whatever. Okay?"

"Okay." And with that, Santana made her way out the gym.

* * *

Santana, for the whole time, just continued on walking with one destination in mind: The cemetery. She made her way to where she knew they buried her girlfriend, took of her corsage and placed it atop the tombstone. It was the first time she made it this close to the tombstone. For the past few weeks, whenever she would go to the cemetery, she couldn't get past the entrance.

Santana remembers not being able to step inside the cemetery on the day of Brittany's burial. She just couldn't bring herself to make another step thinking that maybe if she didn't see them bury her girlfriend, it wouldn't be real. But she knew better. It also was a very clichéd burial day, everybody was wearing black, and it was raining. And with Santana's luck, she forgot to bring her umbrella. So while the rest of the people were inside the cemetery with their umbrellas, with someone consoling them; she was outside, without an umbrella, and was alone. Well, she was alone until Quinn came back out with an umbrella. Quinn stood there outside the cemetery, hugging Santana while the smaller girl cried in her arms.

But not tonight; this night, Santana walked straight inside the cemetery. Santana didn't care about making her dress dirty, or even ruining it but she just took a seat in front of the tombstone.

"Hey, B." Santana said softly. "It's me, Santana…" She shook her head and gave a small chuckle. "Of course you know it's me. I don't even know why I had to say that. You probably see me from wherever you are right now," she looked up at the starry sky then back to the tombstone in front of her.

"As you can probably see, I wore the prom dress you chose. And yes, I went to prom just like I promised." Santana paused, and thought of what to say to someone who isn't actually there. "I brought you a corsage. Well, it's actually mine, but we can share. Hmmm, we didn't win. Q won by one vote, but she decided to give the crown to Berry. I don't even know why, but she said something about making a difference or something like it. They're probably having the first King and Queen dance right now, I left early so I can talk to you."

Santana pulled out a few pieces of grass thinking of other things to say when one thing came to mind, "B, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to come when they buried you. I stayed out there, when I should've been in here saying my goodbyes. But I couldn't say goodbye. I won't ever because you will forever be a big part of me and if I say goodbye, it will seem like I would close that phase. And I just won't…"

She wiped a tear that fell from her eyes. "I don't know what's going to happen now, B. I mean, I didn't know where I'm gonna go after what happened. If I'm just gonna go to New York or go to college in Louisville. I really really want to take a shot at being somebody in New York, you know? But after some thinking, I think the smarter decision here is for me to go to Louisville…" Santana shook her head, "I still can't believe you helped Sue get me that scholarship, you sneaky little bi-corn. But, thank you for that. Really. I never had someone who believes in me as much as you do. But now, I don't know if there's anyone else in this place who's gonna believe in me just as much."

Santana started to trace the letters on the stone in front of her. "I miss you a lot, B. We've been through so much, but we got through them together. And I know, and you know, that I act all tough but you're the reason why I got through a lot of them. You. You, your positivity; and you bright outlook on life. I wish I had that. I wish I still have you, here. With me, right now."

"They made a video of you. They played it before the announcements and honestly, I don't know what to make of it. I know they mean well but it just felt like such a reminder that you are gone." Santana paused from tracing what was written on the tombstone.

_Loving daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend. _

Chuckling to herself, Santana said, "Hey B. They put 'Girlfriend' on here. I didn't think they'd do that, unless like it's 'Husband' or "Wife'. But I didn't think they'd put that there. So anyway, there's a glee party tonight, an after prom thing that Berry put together when her Anti-prom escapade sucked. I hope we could go there together, but I don't know I'm going though. I'm not really in the mood to party. What do you think, B?"

"I know, I know. You don't have to tell me, I know you'd want to go to the party. But we probably both know that I shouldn't drink given my condition that I just might break the dam in my tear ducts if that happens." Santana paused, "I really am sorry for not being able to come here. I just, I couldn't bring myself to walk past the gates. Every night since the burial, I come over here and just stand outside wondering when I'm going to get the courage to walk past it. But I guess, after they showed your video, seeing your face again –and this time not just in my dreams- it gave me the courage to walk past those stupid rusty gates."

"You know people are telling me that I should move on. Can't I just linger for a while longer? I don't want to let go yet; it's only been a few weeks, B. And everything seems so raw. I feel like someone cut me open and just left me there; and I don't know how to sew myself back together. Everything hurts. It hurts, to breathe; it hurts to wake up in the morning. It hurts to think about you, but it hurts even more not to think about you. It hurts to feel nothing but sadness, but it also hurts when I feel like smiling every now and then. It's just that everything hurts so much, B. Everything." Santana leans on the tombstone and let's herself cry.

"People tell me it's not healthy, not moving on. But I don't think they know how not moving on so quickly helps. How I need to feel hurt knowing you're on a permanent vacation. How I need to feel the pain of knowing I won't be able to have the lady babies that we both planned, and how I will never be able to marry you. I need to feel all of those, and more, before I can really accept everything that has happened. I can't just up and leave and act like nothing's changed when something like this happens. It's like a huge setback to everything. I need to move at my own pace, and they just don't get that. I will move on, I promise, just- not yet. Okay?"

Santana's one-sided conversation came to a stop when she heard the sound of leaves being stepped on. She turned around and saw two silhouettes of people leaning on each side of a tree just a few feet away from where she was, and immediately knew who the two were.

"We thought you'd be here." The girl said as they got closer to Santana.

"Actually she knew you'd be here, I just drove the car."

Santana faced the stone in front of her, "Yeah, I uh, just came by to say a few things." She stood up a little too quickly which made her lose her balance. But fortunately for her, the guy had quick reflexes and caught her before she hit the ground.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just stood up too quickly. Thanks Puck."

"Not a problem."

"How long have you guys been here?" Santana asked as she wiped her cheek and then proceeded to dust off soil form her dress.

"A while." Quinn said softly.

"So you heard everything?" Santana asked softly as she looked back at Brittany's tombstone.

"No, not everything. But we didn't mean to eavesdrop… We were coming in to see if you were really here, but then you were. And we didn't know if we should walk closer or walk away, so we stayed by the tree." Puck explained.

"It's okay. Didn't you guys finish prom?"

"No, we left a few minutes after you did. We left right after the first dance of Finn and Rachel." Quinn said.

Santana just nodded, and then shifted her weight on her other foot.

"You wanna go home, S?"

"Nah, I think we should stop by the after party first."

"You serious?" Puck said, trying so hard to contain his excitement.

"Yeah, I mean I did say I'd stop by. So what the hell…"

The two gave Santana a hug, Quinn told her that she was glad Santana was coming. When the three were half way towards Puck's parked car, Santana stopped walking.

"I, uh, I forgot something. I'll meet you two in the car. I'll just be quick." She said as she turned around and quickly walked away.

When she got to where she was earlier, she knelt down and placed her palm on the face of the stone.

"Quinn and Puck picked me up, we're on our way to the after party…" Santana said. After which she placed her fingers on her lips and placed them on Brittany's name. "I'll come by again, tomorrow. I love you, Britt. Always."

With that, she slowly stood up and made her way back outside. When she was nearing the car she only saw Puck standing outside waiting for her, so she figured Quinn was already inside.

Santana opened the door and slid in the back seat, "Let's Go!" She finally said, looking at a smiling Quinn. Puck then, stepped on the gas and drove them to where the after party was.

* * *

**This was supposed to be the final chapter, but I have a small "Epilogue" that actually came to me in a dream I had a few weeks ago. So let me know what you guys think! :)**


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